I met up with the OKC Running Club with my friend Tricia.  It was dark and very cold (6:45 a.m. & 31 degrees)  brrrrr.  I did worse than I thought I would.  At the beginning the course had a slight incline which I was unaware of until we turned to come back.  Coming back was WAY easier!  The front of my calves hurt like hell until we turned around.  I’m wondering was it because of the cold?  Do I need to stretch more? I don’t remember my calves hurting like that before . . .

Anyway, we walked more than we ran.  I felt like such a looser!  Tricia was great though!  She encouraged me and kept reminding me that this is the beginning and that it will get easier. I would not have done as well mentally had she not been there.  Thanks my friend!!  

The course there and back was appx. 2.8 miles (per google maps).  We thought we’d only done 2 miles.  We walked/ran this in about 45/50 minutes.  Sweet!

The good news:  I did it!  I will do it again. I learned more about myself. I had a great time with Tricia.

The bad news: I didn’t eat well on Friday (did this have any bearing on how I felt this a.m.?); Nor did I exercise (may have needed to do yoga). It was painful this morning.  I will do it again.

For breakfast I ate only a 6 oz container of greek yogurt.  I knew I needed to eat something, but I didn’t want to eat anything too heavy, too acidic or too much.  This worked fine as far as I can tell.  I also drank 1 1/2 glasses of water.  

**Note to self: Bring water to the course next time!**

Observations:  Most folks that are experienced runners look like gazelles while running (Bridgid and Katy come to mind).  I feel (and most likely look) like the Rock biter from Never Ending Story!! 

All in all, it was good beginning.  

Well, it’s been since 2007 since I blogged.  Unbelievable.  

I’m back though!  I need to vent about my latest project and keep a diary for inspiration:

I’ve set a goal to run a half marathon this year.  

I’ve never run a marathon before.  In fact I’ve never run long distances before.  At my best, I only ran while playing sports in school (20+ some odd years ago) . . . when in track and field, I ran the relay — not much.  Other sports have been softball, volley ball and a little soccer.  Mostly sprinting types of running. Run fast and get done quickly.

Why, you ask did I decide to run a half marathon this late in life?  I’ll be 46 for God’s sake at the end of the month!  Last year while watching the Oklahoma City Memorial Marathon runners go by my friend’s house, a reporter came and interviewed me and my youngest daughter.  I blurted out “I plan to run the half marathon next year” and they printed it.  Black and white in the Oklahoman.  Ugh!  

Really, I’ve always fantasized about running a marathon.  It is one of those goals to achieve.  I think the first time I seriously thought about doing it, was when Oprah ran a full marathon for her 40th birthday (in 1994).  Hell, if she can do it, surely I can.

Well, I started “training” in November.  I’m way overweight.  Out of shape. Old and tired.  I couldn’t even run a full block without becoming winded. Pathetic huh?!!  I thought so.  I became very concerned with this goal I’d set.

Come December it got cold and I got lazy, then I got sick (I’m still recovering).  I lost all momentum.  

Now it’s January, time to make all those stupid resolutions, and for me to get serious about training for the marathon.  

I ran on Tuesday (Jan. 4th), well, sorta ran.  I did not eat to fuel my body. I was not dressed appropriately.  I had my big winter coat on and a t-shirt under that.  I ran a block and walked two blocks, then ran another block and walked about three blocks, ran one more block and walked the rest of the way.  I got home; I was hot, sweaty and coughing up a lung!!  I started though.

Yesterday, instead of running, I did some Pilates Yoga from a DVD I had on hand.  The yoga part felt good, but the pilates, well, it kicked my butt!  Did I mention I was out of shape.  I hated doing it.  

Today.  Today was a much better day.  I think I fueled my body better. I still walked more than I ran, but I ran more than I had before.  I was able to run about a block and half, walk two blocks and run 1 1/2 blocks.  I did this for about 30 minutes.  I still came home hot and sweaty.  But I wasn’t coughing up a lung.  And I did not feel wiped out when I was done.

For breakfast:  Avocado smoothie (enough for 4 or 5 servings).  

I added a few ice cubes because it wasn’t cold enough.  Very tasty and very smooth.  Even the girls liked it.

Now headed over to Runner’s World to set up a training schedule (as suggested by my family doctor!).

Today is my 3 year Xanga anniversary and to treat myself I purchased Lifetime Xanga!!  Wheee!!!

It is also Stormy’s 12th birthday and Lovebug’s 6 and a half  birthday.  Their birth dates are exactly six months apart.

It’s been a sweet, sweet day.

More are sure to come.

 We planned a fun camp out with our friends.  C. wanted to see bison up close.  Stormy wanted to rock climb.  Lovebug wanted to just go.  So, we planned a trip to the Wichita Wildlife Refuge.  It’s about 1 1/2 hours away.  Easy trip.  We got there just about lunch time.  It was difficult choosing a campsite . . . it had obviously just rained and everything was soaked.  Water was streaming through several sites.  We finally found one on high ground, large enough for both tents, and near the bath house.  We got our tents up, had some lunch and kicked back for the afternoon.   

I’ve been camping there about a dozen times and NEVER have seen any wildlife (other than birds) in the camping area.  This time we were greeted by several deer.  They were everywhere.  The first few we saw was so special.  We slowed down and looked at them as though it were a fluke that we got to see them at all.  After a couple of dozen, the newness wore off.

I planned to cook dinner the first night and then we were going to eat at Meers Store the next night.  Well, best laid plans!  It was SO humid the matches were difficult to light and keep lit.  (Never had that happen before)  S. went for ice and when she return she had a mini lighter with her.  Bless her!!  We still had a difficult time lighting the cookstove, but managed.  The meal wasn’t meant to be.  After trying to boil water for about 30 minutes, the stove quit working. 

We packed up the food, and drove to Meers and ate at Meers Store Restaurant.  It was fantastic.  Now it might have seemed better than it was in actuality, but I don’t think so.  It’s been so long since I’ve had a “real” hamburger — this one tasted soooo good.  Stormy and I split a 7″ burger.  It was plenty!!  Don’t forget the dessert!!  OH MY!  One serving of homemade ice cream is enough for at least two or three people!!  And it was delicious.  So was the cherry cobbler.  It was just as big.

On the way to Meers and returning, there were many American Bison near and on the road.  I could have reached out and touched a couple of them.  But no way was I gonna do that.  In the back ground there were a lot of Texas Longhorn.

Well, we got back to camp.  We had some visitors.  A deer trying to get a handout.  A bison hung around the bathhouse.  A half dozen Longhorn showed up too.  We were all a little afraid to go to the bathroom, but it was dark and we needed to get the kids to bed.  That’s when I realized I forgot my toiletry bag.  <sigh>  No washing my face, no toothpaste, no toothbrush.  We all got into bed.  Only, I had to pump my mattress up again.  It had already gone flat.  I knew it had a slow leak.  I guess slow turned to fast. 

I was too full to sleep so I got up and sat in the dark.  I knew at any moment a bison was gonna come charging into the tents.  I’m very glad I was wrong about that!!  It was very peaceful.  And yet I couldn’t seem to relax and just “be”.  Whenever I’m out camping I am always struck by our ancestors and what it must have been like before electricity, houses, knowledge of the stars.  What must it have been like???

I finally felt good enough to lay down and sleep.  Just as I dozed off a racoon “broke” into our food bin. S. got up and took care of it.  After awhile I was finally dozing off again and it began to rain.  I got up and put the chairs away and anything that would get ruined by the rain and went back to a pretty flat mattress.  I managed to get to sleep somehow, only to wake to it still raining. 

My tent was leaking.  S.’s tent was leaking.  We ate breakfast in the tent — that was fun.  Then decided to pack it all up and go home.  We made very good time packing everything up in the rain.  While packing up we found bison tracks in our camp, just feet from out tents.  Found an empty package of Chips Ahoy taken from our food bin.  No sign of the marshmallows.  Those critters have a big sweet tooth!!

Instead of going home, we went to the Visitors Center, the Prairie Dog town, Bat Mountain and finally to Whistlestop Cafe.  It was a great day.  I’ll try to edit this later and add about the day.  But it’s late now and I need to go to bed.

My sister’s last round of chemo starts tomorrow (Tuesday) and will last until Thursday.  I’ll update more about that too.

We had a great time at Silver Dollar City!  The rides were wonderful.  There was something for each of us.  Camping was fine until the rains came.  <sigh>  We at least had one full day without rain, but on Sunday it rained buckets.  It continued off and on through Monday morning.  Needless to say we were wet.  The tent leaked and we packed it all up in the rain.  But what a memory!  We’ll be going again a couple of more times this year.  As far as I am concerned it’s the best theme park there is.  Folks there are polite and really want to help you.  A pleasant experience all around.

More vacation photos to come later. 

Have a great day. 

Trying to update more frequently.

Thanks for the warm fuzzy’s Amedea and Knitsteel. 

Only random bits from me.

Dh and I put in a new “patio” for Shadow’s dog kennel last weekend.  It was a lot of work, but we are both very pleased.  It even came out level.    We used paver stones.  Now we have our real patio back and it’s nice and roomy again.

Today I did a quick cardio workout on the treadmill at the Y.  I saw a neighbor who started walking around the neighborhood about the same time I did after my heart attack.  I had never met him before this morning, although we would both wave to each other from across the median or from our cars.  I think he may have suffered some kind of heart attack too.  I didn’t want to ask the very first time I met him.  Although I’m curious.

The girls are out of school — finally!!  Last Friday was actually the last day.  I really hated to see the end of school come — which surprised me.  After thinking about it for awhile, I realized what I was going to miss was seeing all of my new friends.  They’ve been very supportive and fun and interesting and well . . . delightful. 

I’m off to sit with my sister during chemo again today.  It usually takes about two to three hours.  I’m taking my yarn and needles. 

Have a great day. 

My oh my!  I’m away from Xanga for a short while and they’ve done so many updates I can’t make sense of them all.  <sigh> 

The new offer of Xanga Lifetime is very tempting.  But I must blog more often to rationalize doing it.  But most likely I will.  I want my blog to look better, but I don’t have (won’t make) the time for it.  Any hints on quickly doing a makeover for your blog???  I’m horrible at html and I’d really like a cool header . . .

Update:  My sister has been given the “it’s no longer a matter of ‘if’, but a matter of ‘when’” and “you can quit chemo if you want to” speech last week.  This was quite a blow.  I mean we both knew intellectually it was likely (pretty darn likely), but to actually hear the doc say it was something else.  My sister decided to continue chemo.  It’s possible it will extend her life a bit.  The speach we got today after asking and asking for it, is that the average length of time someone with small cell lung cancer has is 9 months from diagnosis.  Wow!  That’s not long.  And it’s average.  50% live longer, 50% live shorter.  Well those numbers are not exact but you know what I mean.  She was diagnosed at the end of February.

After chemo today and taking care of a few things for my sister I stumbled upon a  NEW yarn store in Norman!  I liked it very much (it’s been months however since I’ve even looked at yarn).  The owner, Leslie greeted me as I walked in the door and was very very friendly.  Not my usual experience when walking into a yarn store for the first time.  She had a very nice selection of cotton yarns and even helped me locate some yarn that was machine washable and dryable.  I chose an off white so that I can attempt to paint it and a purple — just for fun.  She also has a fantastic space for classes.  I’m wanting to make some wash cloths while I’m sitting in chemo with my sister.  I can make these with my eyes closed (well almost) and they are useful.  I’ll at least feel a bit productive.

Hope all is well with you.  I’ll try to stop by soon.

Edited to add:  Thanks knitsteel for the hugs! 

Also, do you like-a my new look?  I went here to learn more about the new themes.

Hi friends!

Life has been hectic. 

I so appreciate you all checking up on me and all the well wishes. 

My sister is doing okay.  She’s had two rounds of chemo and 14 days of radiation to her brain.  The cancer metastasised to her brain.  I don’t remember if I told you all that.  She’s lost a lot of her hair due to the radiation to her head.  Loosing her hair made having cancer very real.  It was something you could actually see and feel. 

Loosing your hair sucks.

She was hospitalized last week due to an oncoming bladder infection and her white blood cell count dropping way too low. 

I’m learning a lot of new vocabulary.  When your white blood cells drop too low you are called neutropenic. 

What blows my mind is how “they” throw words at you that most people have never heard before.  My sister had a sign on her door and was being referred to a neutropenic and not once did someone offer an explanation.  I finally asked what it meant.  They were very nice about explaining it and anything else I asked about — but I don’t understand why they don’t just explain it in the 1st place.

She will go for another round of chemo in the morning.  I will of course go with her.  I have a lot of questions.  I also have a lot of questions that can’t be answered. 

Other news in my world:  My nephew Brent, has been seriously injured in Afganastan.  I only know that he is alive and has a concusion.  It is believed that he is the only survior from his vehicle. 

War sucks!

I remember the day he was born.  He was such a tiny thing to me.  My baby brother’s baby!!  He was the 1st born child between my brother and me.  My brother and I are full siblings — all my sisters are half sisters.  Somehow, when Brent was born, there was a burden lifted from me.  My brother had fufilled the “family obligation” of passing on the name/family line, etc.  Brent also brought so much to our family.  Some stability that had not been there for a very long time.  A future that before his birth looked somewhat dim.

There is so much more to say . . . I miss my blog.  But I must go and pick Lovebug up from dance and then go to soccer practice.  I’m trying to keep the kid’s life as normal as possible during all of this other drama!

Until later, peace be with you all.

I hate waiting. 

I want to be able to make a plan and I can’t.  Not yet.  People are wanting to know if I can be available and I have to say “I don’t know”. 

Not knowing makes me squirm.

Bits O’ Bliss (thanks Amedea)

• beautiful sunshine


• singing Robins


• good friends


• daffodils


• Coco Via candy bars


• iced soy Chai Tea


• my kids

Thanks for the shoulder friends!!  I am touched by your support and kindness.  You’ll never really know how much.

I’m having a time trying to schedule my week.  There are meetings and events that have been on the calendar for days or weeks.  My sister and I go to the oncologist on Tuesday at 2:30 and I am having doubts about scheduling or attending anything beyond that date, that time. 

We’ve been told to expect to “hit the ground running” after meeting the oncologist.  What I don’t know is if that means that same afternoon, the next day, the next week?  I know that what I think something means is not necessarily what someone else means.  I hate that.  I really want to have a nice, neat list of what is going to happen next.  Maybe we’ll get that on Tuesday.

This desperate need of knowing, comes, I’m sure from growing up with an alcoholic parent.  Always trying to guess his mood, trying to guess how to behave so as not to upset him, trying to feel the mood of the room when I walked in, trying to not be disappointed when we couldn’t do something planned because he was drunk and just decided to do something different (like sit and drink some more).  <sigh>  As an adult I try to keep it all predictable.

However, I think anyone, anywhere, from any background, would be uneasy not knowing what was coming next with the cancer treatment.  Or the outcome of the cancer treatment.  I don’t believe adult children of alcoholics have a corner on that particular market.

You know, I’ve experienced the death of many of my family.  My grandmother, father, mother, aunts and uncles and even a sister, but this “impending” death is really making me look at everything differently.  And the mind games . . . they are merciless.  For instance some part of myself says “quit worrying, she’s gonna die sometime, heck everything dies, why does this make a difference”.  Another part of myself says “She’s dying.  Prepare everyone and  for everything.  She’s dying.”  And then that other part says “what if you prepare and she doesn’t die?”  And instead of feeling elated, I feel defeated.  No matter what I do, there is nothing “I CAN DO” to make this easier or non existent.

I didn’t go to church today.  I just didn’t feel like it.  I want to be “fed” spiritually right now and I know that won’t happen behind the doors of the church for me.  I also am trying to tie up a few loose ends before the week begins — you know tidying up in case I can’t be available for anything else but my sister.  Also, Lovebug is coughing AGAIN.  I wish we could “cure” her cough.  I don’t worry about coughing in general, but for Lovebug, it really wears her out, causes her stomach to ache and causes her to get winded easily.  I’m hoping if she rests today, she’ll be well enough to attend school this week.  (Please! do not throw yet another variable into my week!!)

When dh and Stormy get home I plan to take a long walk with Shadow (our dog).  It’s a beautiful sunny day and it is getting warmer by the minute — it should be very comfortable by the time I get to it.  It is outdoors where I am spiritually fed and especially on beautiful sunny days.

Have a wonderful Sunday.

TK