After the revelation I had, God chears me up.

My family went to Norman to see Brave Combo play at the annual Summer Breeze concerts in the park on Sunday.  I thought this would be the best way to celebrate Father's Day with DH.  He really enjoyed himself, btw!  And the band was fantastic as usual!!

I spent my teenage years and part of my young adult years living in Norman.  I moved to OKC about 15 years ago.  Point?:  I haven't lived in Norman for a very long time.

My sister went with us.  She's lived in Norman for more than 30 years now. 

After being at the concert for about an hour or so, she leans over to me and says "It's amazing, I've seen only one person I know and you've seen like a dozen people!  AND I LIVE HERE!!"  It was true.  I saw lots of people I knew.  By the end of the evening, I had seen at least a couple of dozen people that I knew and my sister saw two.  Most of these people I see regularly and are in my community, some I go to church with, some where my neighbors, one was my best bud Steph's friend who we had just spent the afternoon at a birthday party together.

I am not alone.  I have an enourmous community.  My roots are firmly planted in this wonderful state of Oklahoma!

Funny isn't it?!!!

You know everything happens for a reason. 

DrTiff asking questions and one of the answers was that I felt isolated, alone, etc. in our homeschooling community.

I spoke with two of my neighbors this morning before 8:30.  This was unusal.  This felt really good.  I haven't spoken to or for that matter, seen my neighbors in weeks. 

Stormy asked this morning (she's considering reading The Time Machine), would I go back in time or would I go forward in time.  I told her I'd go back in time.  She kept pressing, as she does so well, trying to convince me why going in the future would be better -- something about being able to fly.  Which is something I've expressed being important to me.  Today, though, I told her it's more important to me to go back in time.  "Why?"  I would go back and meet my parents as an adult.  I'd meet my uncles and my grandparents, because it's been a VERY LONG time since I've seen any of them. And I miss them terribly.  I've only had memories of them to keep me company. 

"I've only had memories of them to keep me company."

What a revelation!!  I got choked up. 

Then it dawned on my why I've been prolific of late and why I'm trying to keep so busy. 

My mother's birthday was June 10.  My mother died on June 23.  28 years ago. 

This year I wonder will I ever really feel a part of.  How do you feel apart of this world after loosing your mother?  She's not around to feel grounded to.  It feels like I'm kind of floating above the world tethered only by a thin string.  Or that I've lost my magnetic North and am aimlessly searching for it.

I want that grounded feeling.  I guess now that I know what is missing, so to speak, I can work on it. 

I guess that's why a Standing Oak is so important to me.  Instead of feeling like a mighty oak with my roots dug down, I'm feeling more like a withering fall leaf today.

Hi TK!  It's DrTiff...  I wanted to ask you off-blog (although you can respond
on-blog if you'd like) about your girls' transition from homeschooling to public
school.  I know you have said that you are really happy with the school you
found.  I'm just wondering what you like about it, compared to homeschooling and
how your kids - especially your older daughter - compare the two?  What are the
disadvantages, also? 

I decided to respond on my blog to her questions.  It has taken me days to formulate my thoughts (although I still don't feel this is complete).  As my thoughts have come, I've been saving them here in my blog.  Below is what I have:

Well it's taken awhile to think about these questions.  They aren't easy to answer.  Part of the reason it's not easy for me to answer is that my answers won't exactly fit anyone else's situation.  Everyone has their own path to follow and I hesitate to influence their path.  However, I believe we are on this earth to share our experience, strength and hope. 

Transitioning from homeschooling to public school: 

We were essentially "unschooling" or as I prefer to call it, child led learning, before they started school.  Stormy, was used to doing work, work that she chose to do, usually based on things she was interested in (sometimes I'd butt in with my insecurities and have her do some "basics"). 

Both girls started attending public school AFTER the official start day of school.  Public school here starts around Aug. 20 (it changes from year to year).  Stormy did not start until late Oct. right before fall break.  She went to school for two days then had five days off.  For her, I think this was the very, very best way to start.  She got a taste of what it would be like, and several days to get used to the idea. 

Lovebug started at the second semester which began on a Thursday.  So, she had a couple of days at school and then a couple of days off before it really got started.  It was easy peasy for her.  I knew it would be.   

On the first day of school Stormy was tested with Woodcock-Johnson III test.  As I've mentioned in previous posts, she scored above grade level in all subjects except math.  In math she scored on grade level.  What a relief it was to have her tested and to KNOW she was really learning.  In Oklahoma, testing is not required to homeschool.  So we never bothered to officially test her.  If I had known what a relief it was to find out, I think I would have had her tested annually.  The fear with having her tested annually . . . what if she wasn't learning it all.  Then everyone would have a "right" to butt into our education business per se.  Can you see my insecurities here?

The point I'm trying to make is since she was used to doing work and she was at grade level in her "book knowledge" it was a pretty smooth transition.  The difficulties arose for her because of her sensory issues. (see previous post) Getting used to being around that many kids for that long every day can overwhelm anyone.  For her it was increased at least 10 fold.  It was also challenging for her to be scheduled.  She only had so much time to spend in each subject.  She was sooooo used to spending as much time as she wanted on what she enjoyed.  --This is the part that pulls at my heart strings -- the loss of freedom to choose.  As the year went on, she even grew used to the schedule.  Well mostly.  The OKC school district requires that ALL children enrolled in classes have homework every night.  This tended to be busy work.  Her frustration would grow, when all she wanted to do, was go to her room to read.    I would have to discourage her from *READING* in order to complete her homework.  When she wasn't at school, there was still a school schedule imposed up on her.  --Another heartstring puller!

What I LOVE about this school:  It is probably the only one (anywhere near us) closest to way I think education should be.  They integrate Arts into the curriculum.  This is exactly how I tried to do it at home.  You can learn so much through art; works of art, movement, music, drama, etc.  They can all bring a part into the world of learning that you can't learn otherwise.  Imagine acting out the The Boston Tea Party as opposed to only reading about it.  Or drawing a portrait of John Hancock, instead of just looking at one.  The mind retains so much more if it's exposed to all the different modalities of learning. 

Example:  Another child that I know from the same school attended Chalice Camp with us.  Now I know that all the classes at school were working on the concept of symmetry.  They were exposed to it with several modalities in the 3rd 9 weeks of school.  While at Camp, this child looked at his tie-dyed T-shirt and commented on the symmetry in it.  He actually used the word symmetry when describing his shirt.  This kid has a big case of ADHD and is in 2nd grade.  Yet, I believe, because he was exposed to symmetry in many different modalities, he was able to internalize it's meaning.  Cool, huh?

I also love that there is a very HIGH level of parental involvement.  Where the school stops, the parents step in.  This school has very involved sports program coached by the parents -- and it's about learning the game and having fun.  Not to win.  The other elementary schools, to my knowledge, don't have sports integrated into the school like this school does.  We have a chess club, run by a parent.  We have Math & Science Night and Arts Night -- parent run. When the Kennedy Center trainers from Washington, DC come in the fall and spring, parents step in and help cover class rooms -- the school PTA pays for this trainer to come to our school.  Before my family came to this school, the Board of Education cut funding and/or teachers and our school was shy two teachers.  The PARENTS through the school PTA hired two teachers for the remainder of the school year.  They raised money because there was a need!  You will find parents in the hallway almost at all times of the day -- every day.    Parents are there all the time and I believe it causes an accountability of the teachers and staff. 

The staff and teachers are great.  Not one bad apple as far as I can tell.  All the teachers are excited about their jobs.  They love the kids.  The principal is excited about having the kids learn.  She hasn't lost that nugget of what school is all about -- learning.  She listens to suggestions and implements most.  I don't know if you know what I mean, but at the school my kids are SUPPOSED to go to, in our neighborhood, just a block away, the principal there has lost his way in the red tape.  His response to everything suggested was "Oh, well, we can't do that!"  And of course it trickled down to the teachers, who thought they couldn't do anything but what they were already doing.  What a defeatist attitude.  Not exactly what I wanted my kids to learn.  You know, to settle.

What was lacking in the homeschooling environment for my family, we found in the public school setting.  Community with others.  Interaction with others.  A broader sense of belonging to a community.  I had started to feel isolated.  On the outside of everything, looking in.  I grew tired of always feeling "different" from the larger community.  We homeschool, we do not vaccinate, we are not Christian, etc. etc. etc. If we lived in a more liberal state of the nation, well, it probably would not matter in the least.  But here, it does.  I imagine that some of those same feelings were going on for Stormy.  Once, she told me that she was glad that she no longer had to tell people she was homeschooled.  People in the community always asked her what grade she was in and/or where she went to school when we were out and about.  I cringed a little bit when she said that.   I knew how she felt.

The school also provides all that they are "supposed" to learn as determined by our government -- I can quit worrying if I am serving them educationally.  I have been very satisfied with what has been covered academicaly.  And where I see short falls, if I do, I can add to it. 

Things I have not liked are the busy work, the influence of other kids who don't have the same parental guidance as most of the kids, the fact that my kids are gone for so long each day.  Especially with Stormy.   Seven hours a day without parental influence . . . doesn't make sense to me.  However, I know that I am an attentive parent.  I will always be there to help either of them through this.  They both have a good foundation on what it right and wrong, and if they forget, we are here to remind them.  I feel like we have laid the ground work and now it's time for them to build upon it.

There you have it.  I, for-what-ever-reason, can not condense my thoughts on things like this.  If you've made it this far, well, Thank You!!  I hope this was helpful at least a little.

I do believe in reincarnation.  I think that we all get to keep trying this life out until we "get it".  I see people do the same things over and over and over and never learn from it.  I think we are doomed to keep doing the same things in another life unless we get it figured out in this life.  Once we get it completely figured out, that's when we get to rest.

When I was in my early 20's, I had a friend who was really into looking into her past lives.  She helped me once "go back" and it really startled me.  So much so, I really didn't want to do it again.  It was feelings and emotions that came to me more so than actions.  It was overwhelming to have all those "feelings". 

I remembered being a rock-n-roll singer who died too soon.  Actually, I remembered a passionate love of singing and performing and that it was over too soon.  TOO SOON.  A panicky feeling of it being over too soon.  I "saw myself" and looked like Ritchie Valens. 

A year or two later the movie about Ritchie Valens came out.  It totally freaked me.  It was familiar, but at the same time in my mind I was saying, "that's not true"  "that's not how it happened".  That memory of when I "went back" flooded back to me and that's when I put together that it was Ritchie Valens that I looked like.  Now, I'm not saying that I *was* Ritchie Valens, but that's what it felt like when I "went back".

Have you ever met a kid that was wise beyond his/her years or just the opposite?  When Stormy was little, I kept saying she was like a brand new person, freshly made.  She had absolutely no street smarts about her.  Well, she still doesn't.   Lovebug on the other hand, she's been around awhile.  She remembers things that happened before her lifetime.  One of those things that she first told us about was that Gravy Train commercial.  Remember it?  It hasn't been on in years around here, but one night at dinner Dh and I were being goofy about the gravy.  We started singing "Graaaaveeeeey" like the commercial.  Lovebug pipes up and says "that's the

Now for photos taken of myself.

This is really me.  I'm always driving someone somewhere.  The last picture . . . I'm turning into the driveway, hopefully for the last time today.  But I'm not counting on it.    

Here I am in front of the refrigerator.  Another part of my life . . . I feel like I'm always preparing food, putting food away, eating food.  I feel like I spend way too much time in the kitchen.

Here is where I'd rather be most of the time.  Outside. Under my Pecan tree.  With iced tea.  In a tall glass.

 Here is Stormy's skirt.  (See post below for directions).  Her's took a bit longer.  It was bigger and I had to figure out how to make it with the fabric I had on hand.  **Remember I'm not buying any new fabric.**  --Being a quilter, I have mostly fat quarters -- hundreds of fat quarters that I want to use up.  Never again do I want as much fabric on hand as I have now. --  I also received a lot of input from Stormy herself and that caused the process to take a bit longer.  She also helped out quite a bit with ironing and cutting.  She's still a bit shy around the sewing machine, so she didn't want to sew. 

For the top row, we both wanted it a dark brown color, but I could only find fat quarters in that color, so I did two different panels instead of one.  We both liked the effect very much.   She had to have cats, so for the 2nd row that's what she got.  The last row was the trickiest.  I wanted to use the same blue that I put on Lovebug's skirt, but there was not enough.  Not even close.  At 105" around and 8" wide, it was difficult to find something in my stash that would match.  Getting daring, I started pulling out ANY color that I had enough fabric of.  We were both pleasantly surprised with the fabric used.

I don't think I'll make myself a skirt just yet.  It will take a lot of fabric to make it my size and I don't have a lot of large quantities of colors I'd like to wear on hand.  Does that make sense?  Maybe I'll make it where each panel is a different fabric.  That would be seven different panels in all.  Would I like it?  Maybe. Would it look to "folksy"? Too much like a quilt gone wrong?  Help!!  Tell me what you think.

Anyway, here are the pictures of Stormy and her new skirt:

Stormy wearing her skirt . . . . . . . . . . . and posing in her skirt. 

Fabrics up close (not sure why there is a blue haze to it)

 Here is a side view of the two dark brown panels. 

The girls LOVE their new skirts.  Lovebug has had hers on all day.  And Stormy put hers on the minute I was done and didn't take it off until bedtime.  I guess I'll be making them some 4th of July skirts soon.

To answer xxooscarlettooxx questions, "Is it easy?" and "Do you NEED a serger?"  I would say if you have sewing experience, it's easy.  If this is your very 1st sewing project, pick a different one.  I completed Lovebug's skirt in around 2 hours.  That was with lots of breaks throughout the day, with calculating the size, picking out the fabrics and pulling out all the basting threads.  Stormy's took almost double that.  But her's was almost double the size and well you read all the other problems I had with it. 

I did not pull the serger out.  It would have probably saved me a bit of time, but then I would have had to pull it out from all the mounds of fabric on top of it, find a place to put it (or put the tons of fabric) and thread it for these projects.  I don't know about you, but I HATE to thread the serger!!!  So the time I would have saved sewing with the serger would have been eaten up with the logistics of getting the serger out and ready to use.  So to answer the question, NO you do not NEED a serger, but you will want to use a zigzag stich or a locking stich for the edges.  Luckily, my sewing machine has a locking stich.

Hope that helps!!

I tried to sign up for Wardrobe Refashion.  They said no, they are full, to check back in a couple of months.    So, I says to myself, "I don't need no stinkin' group!" 

I had already made a comittment to myself at the beginning of the year that I would not purchase anything new (see side bar at left).  With the exception of an item to complete a project, i.e. a zipper, thread, clasp -- you get the idea.

I whipped out this Three-Tiered skirt  from Three Peas yesterday.  It's for Lovebug.  I'll be making one for Stormy today, and maybe one for myself tomorrow.  I really like the look and the simplicity.  3 Peas was worried about it being her 1st tutorial, but she did a great job with step-by-step instructions.  However, if you have NEVER sewn before, I think this might be difficult to tackle, but not impossible.  Gathers are difficult for some and this skirt has them plenty!

This was made entirely from my stash here at home.  I had to purchase NOTHING to make it.  The only requirement by Lovebug is that it had to have horses.  I found exactly two pieces of material that had horses on it.  One of which was only a piece (like quilters candy size). YIKES!  Let's hope she wants nothing else with horses on it!! 

Well, on to the pictures:

TA DA!!!!

Lovebug wearing the skirt . . . . . . . . and posing in the skirt.

The fabrics close up.

This weeks Photo Challenge is hosted by bvlgari_gurl

The subject is Kids in motion

She wrote: "Pictures of children, sitting, crying, playing, running ... anything. Freeze a child's moment and show it to us!"

Mud fight and wagon ride . . .

upset and sad . . .

 This weeks photo challenge is hosted by Jeepind

The subject is windows

I took this photo a couple of years ago in Downtown Oklahoma City. 

I have other window pictures, but no time to put them on Xanga.   So this is my only offering for Windows. 

Goin' to the crick is one of those things I have a fond memory of.  And to the lake.  And to the river.  And on hikes.  And lazing around the house all summer, with cool iced tea, sitting on the porch in the cool of the day with my parents, listening to this cardinal who always -- ALWAYS sang right before the ice cream truck came around the bend.  Getting a bomb pop from the ice cream truck called the Jolly Roger!  Seeing friends in the neighborhood.  Making up fantastical games and forts (a big ol' box makes great forts and club houses).  Card games like War and Slap Jack, pick-up sticks, jacks, jump rope.  Climbing trees, sliding down hills on cardboard boxes (of course after you are done with the club house).  Laying out on a blanket with my Mom and Dad and finding constellations.  Watching for bats. Making perfume from rose petals and mayo (it was one of the grossest things, but we tried with all kinds of stuff from the 'frige and mayo was the best).  All with just me and my brother and an occasional friend.

I've been thinking about how those kind of summers happened when I was a kid.  Bottom line:  Mom kicked us out of the house!  We weren't "allowed" to come back into the house unless we needed to go to the bathroom.  Honestly, once we got out there, most of the time we didn't want to come back in.  And this was not in a malicious way.  She was busy inside doing "inside stuff" and we were in the way or annoying the crap out of her (didn't know that then, but now that I have two of my own . . . I KNOW!  I get it now!).

So, this summer I think I'm gonna do a lot more of kickin' my kids out of the house.  They have plenty to do out in that big ol' world of theirs (the backyard).  I'll supply them with a few things new:  a baseball tee and pitch back net; a huge cardboard box; a new sprinkler or maybe two.  They'll have memories of their own creations.  And most of it will have absolutely nothing to do with me.