Dr. Tiff had asked how I had come to the decision to put the girls in school.  (See previous blog here.)  It feels like it was all a blur, but it really wasn't. 

I think I need to give some background about why we home schooled in the first place. 

When Stormy was a wee thing, she was, eeeehhhhh, different.  I think most parents think their kids are "different", but Stormy really was.  I didn't know what "it" was, but there was something.  When she was a baby she cried all the time (at least it felt like it).  She had to be held all the time.  (My sling saved our lives).  She could be very intense.  Loud noises would send her into crying fits.  Large crowds would overwhelm her. As she got older, changes would be very difficult for her.  I would need to let her know in plenty of time AHEAD that something was going to change.  "In an hour sweetie, we are going to get ready to leave to go see Daddy for lunch."  Tags would have to be cut out of some clothes, but not all of them.  She seemed to have no intuition when it came to being around other people, i.e. how to get what she wanted by using the tiny nuances it sometimes takes with kids who are 2, 3 or 4.  Every people-skill seemed daily like it was a brand new skill. I read everything that I could get my hands on about the highly sensitive child, but it never fit completely.  Don't get me wrong, it helped, but it wasn't quite "it". 

So when it came time for Kindergarten, we looked around at the public schools in our area, private schools in the metro and at home schooling.  We originally had decided to place her in a very cool private school called School of the Plains.  At that school, they used very few desks, but lots of practical stuff, like collecting the eggs from the hen house, speaking Spanish while making cookies, moving to the sounds of a song rather than being told how to dance, etc.  It seemed like the perfect fit.  However, on three different occasions I was told about the man who ran things there.  He was said to have a rage issue.  You know, you don't have to hit me over the head to get me to pay attention.  With that information, that came unsolicited -- I mean these people had no idea that I had already enrolled Stormy into that school -- I decided that it was a message from God.  "Do not put your child there".  Not that I think God actually speaks to me, but God does.  Know what I mean?  Okay, I'm getting off track.   We forfeited our deposit of a two or three hundred dollars and decided rather than risk this man raging at us or our daughter, we'd home school.  Always, I told myself and others, that when Stormy was ready to go to school she'd let me know and she'd go.

By the way that school closed three years later. 

Home schooling came with no family support and very little support from the community.  If you don't know it already, Oklahoma is in the middle of the Bible Belt, often referred to as the Buckle in the Bible Belt.  You see, my experence is, here in Oklahoma City if you home school, it is assumed you are a Christian family.  We'll we aren't Christian.  At least not in the sense that Christ is THE ONLY son of God.  We don't believe that you must go through someone or something else to be able to be with God, talk to God, etc.  We are very spiritual people, just not Christian.  (For those that don't know, we consider ourselves Unitarian Universalists.)  So for years of trying to find a group that would actually stay together and do field trips etc. without us having to BE Christian, grew tiring.  Every new school year we tried to start a group or find a group or just find other like minded people who wanted to do some of the same things we did.  Most of the time we'd find one or two families to hang out with, but never that elusive support group.  Finally, this fall I thought I had found THE group!!  They stated that they were inclusive.  They met weekly.  They had book club, park day, field trips, all kinds of opportunities to be with other inclusive families.  Only, they weren't.  They were all Christian.  Which is fine with me, except for the fact that they wanted to exclude those who didn't fit their mold.  They changed there statement of being inclusive and we left as a family.  We were very sad.  They didn't want anyone like us.  Or more to the point the didn't want us -- or so it felt. 

Now during all that searching for a group, we had mostly wonderful years of learning at home and around the state and even sometimes around the country.  We spent wonderful times together discovering the world around us and it was great. 

When Stormy was 5 1/2 years old, our family grew when Lovebug came.  That in itself created a new  and challenging dynamic. Having Lovebug also confirmed what I had already believed about Stormy -- she's "different".  

I loved home education most of the time.  I would have my days though, of feeling insecure -- are they learning everything they need to?  Am I the best "teacher" for them?  Do they need a "teacher"?  Do we unschool?  Do we sort of unschool?  Do I insist that we do "school" at home?  In the end, looking back, I did what "we" needed to do at any given time.  Sometimes we would unschool, sometimes we would do "school" at home, sometimes we would do a mixture of both.

Also during this time I read an article in Life Learning Magazine by Isa Sinclair called: Living and Learning With Sensory Integration Challenges  (this will take you to a PDF file.  See page 9).  I found "it".  This is what Stormy has!!!  A milder case, but that's it!! Sensory Integration Dysfunction.  Of course I've never had her "labeled" with this by a doctor. I wasn't able to put all the symptoms together for a doctor to properly diagnose.  How could I?  What a relief!!  There really was something.  I hadn't done anything wrong.  I really did make the very best decision by her.  Attachment parenting, home schooling, all of it.  All of it was the very best thing to do for her. 

As Stormy has gotten older, she has learned how to deal with her sensory issues -- mostly.  When we were trying to learn the multiplication table she would just agonize over this.  Give her a real life situation where you needed to multiply and she'd do it without much problem (except sometimes it would take her a long time because she didn't have those basic multiplication problems memorized).  So one day, I said go jump on the trampoline and tell me the multiplication facts.  And you know what -- she did it.  Didn't miss a one!  Brilliant!!   So, now when she's having trouble, she knows she needs to get up and move her body (only now she has to ask 1st  ).  When she is in a situation where she starts feeling overwhelmed, she knows she can leave that situation and we can almost always avoid a melt down.  Sometimes she just needs a break -- and she takes them.

So back to the reason of WHY we stopped home schooling.  In a nut shell, Stormy wanted to go to school.  She had asked about going in 4th grade, but I wasn't ready for her to go.  We had a lot of turmoil here at home -- too many changes with dh's job, our finances, possibly me having to go to work, loosing friends, friends moving away, etc.  I just didn't think it would have served her well to have an additional change last year.  So we talked about what it would mean to go to school and what each of us wanted for her and her sister's education.  In reality, what she wanted was more friends and more structure with the plan of entering school in the 6th grade.  With the promise of finding a support group this school year we would try home schooling one more year.  When we found a group, the one I mentioned above, we were all very happy about learning at home again.  Actually excited.  Also during this time, I was doing some research about how to get her into 6th grade public school after home schooling.  Talk about bureaucracy!!  ACK!!  No two schools had the same answer.  I must mention that where we live, we are fortunate to have the opportunity to choose to attend one of at least six different middle schools.  Most of which you must apply to.  Hence the research. 

Well all about the same time, the group I mentioned above changed to no longer being inclusive AND I found out it would be incredibly easier for Stormy to enter 6th grade at the school we wanted her to go to, if she came from "a school".  With all that, I asked Stormy "How would you feel about going to school this year rather than waiting?"  A funny little grin appeared, her face lit up and she excitedly said that she'd like to go.  It was time.  Again -- you don't have to hit me over the head to get me to pay attention (well, maybe a little).  In October at the beginning of the 2nd 9 weeks,  my oldest child entered school for the very first time.  She had sprouted wings and it was time for her to fly.  I cried.  I was happy for her.   

Lovebug had been wanting to go to school since she was about 2 1/2.  I guess as soon as she knew what a school might be.  I never felt the "need" to educate her at home.  But the plan was to do it anyway.  Over the years I had learned about how positive learning at home can be.  How harsh the public setting could be.  I was completely sold on the idea and would have educated my kids until they were done, if it weren't for one thing -- we weren't really happy doing it.  On the surface, yep, we were happy, but deep down I don't think any of us was truly happy any more.  It really was time for Stormy to do something different. 

Even though I never thought I would ever put any of my children in Pre-K -- "why was it even needed?", Lovebug wanted to be at school.  So off she went to Pre-K at the beginning of the 3rd 9 weeks.  And although I still have my reservations about Pre-K, I think she'll survive it and come out stronger for the experience.  I'm there in her class at least once a week, so I get to see what's going on and how she handles herself.  And if I do say so myself, she does pretty good.  There are a few behaviors that she sees other kids doing that she's trying out that I really discourage, and this stuff about "I'm not going to be your friend today" being said to Lily, but other than that it's been fine.

So, why did we switch to public school?  It was time.  The season set on learning at home. I would never change our time of learning at home.  It was absolutely the right thing to do at the time.  It's just time for something different now.  Ch-ch-changes . . .

We had a snow day today.  NO SCHOOL.  Which wasn't really true for us, as I immediately stepped into that homeschooling mom thing.  I pulled out some of our favorite games that have an educational flare and we played those for several hours.  Stormy and Lovebug enjoyed playing out in the snow/ice.  They  invented a sled thing-a-ma-jig to slide down our teeny hill, they hunted icicles and found some, they immersed themselves in the weather and loved it.  When educating at home, I always counted this as educational.  They get to do science and phys. ed at the very least.  It surprises me that the school they attend right now will not let them go outside if it's snowy at all.  I don't remember, but maybe I had to stay inside at school too, when it was snowy.

Hubby was home today too.  It's a federal holiday, so all the courthouses were closed.  He didn't hang out with us so much today though.  He worked on our taxes.  I wish he'd just let us hire someone to do it, but he always wants to do them himself.  He's very good at it, but his time is of more value to me now than it used to be. We miss him when he's gone.

Best part of the snow day -- we got a three day weekend out of it.  We absolutely didn't have to be anywhere this weekend and it was LOVELY.  We have had to be somewhere or do something literally every weekend since sometime before Thanksgiving.  I'm so grateful for the weather and for the break.  Our family really needed it.

Tomorrow, we'll be back to the old grind.  But I'm ready for it.  The girls are ready to go back to school.  They were both just a wee bit disappointed that school was canceled today.  Not so much so that it ruined their day though.

Olympic highlights:  1. SBX (snowboarding cross)!!  I love it.  In my previous life, I was married to a motor cross racer.  I always enjoyed going to the races, seeing them use their bodies and machines to maneuver through the course.  BUT NOW, SBX is the way to go.   It looked so peaceful compared to motor cross.  They completely depend upon their bodies to get them through the course.  How powerful.  2.  Women's skeleton.  Stormy wants to do this now.  It wouldn't surprise me a bit if she wasn't really great at it.  Now, where in the world do you sign up for skeleton lessons?  I don't recall seeing it offered at the local community college - or for that matter curling.  Where do you learn how to curl?  At your local rec center?  Maybe some of you who live up north have these available all the time?  I don't know.  Certainly not anything we'd ever see here in Oklahoma. 

That's it for today.

We got some snow/ice last night.  It was in the 60s just a couple of days ago.  This morning its about 20 degrees.  Eeeek!!  What a change.  However, the dog LOVES it.  She would, being a Sibe.  Hubby's in the kitchen making breakfast.  We've decided we'll not go anywhere this morning, so we are home for the day.  The girls are being very nice to each other. 

Aaaaaahhhhhhh!  Life is good.

If you feel like you know me well enough, go and describe me with a few words  HERE.

Frida . . .

I watched Frida last night.  I loved the imagery.  I have once again been inspired.  Now for time.  Where do we find more time?

I'm also in luck.  Mexican Masters are at our local museum.   Although Frida's work is not featured (damn!) her husbands work is.  I'll be making a trip there this week. 

I found this laying on the ground as I was walking and meditating about how I should proceed in the way we eat as a family. 

God is indeed mysterious and has a great sense of humor -- don't you think? 

I'm testing out the new weblog editor.  So far so good.  I only wish there was a way you can keep your lines together even if you hit enter.  I hate that in the old editor it always double spaces.  (And yes, I know that you can use the address option, but then you have to go and change the font and itallics.  It should be easier than that.
Wait, did they fix it?  I just hit enter and it didn't double space it.  Whoo Hoo!!  Thanks Xanga!

They've also added the photo manger to this screen.  It makes so much more sense to me for it to be here.

I look forward to this becoming a permanent option for Xanga users.

You can read about it at John's Xanga.

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It's Camp Fire candy sale time.  This year both my girls are selling candy.  I thought it would be easier than ususal, but it's not.  I'm finding it more challenging. Could be because the price went up this year. 

The kids sell the candy to help support our Camp Fire council, which puts on wonderful summer camps and sends kids who are less fortunate for free.  Another benefit of selling the candy, is that they can earn their way to camp for free.  So if you are out and about and see Camp Fire kids standing in front of your favorite store, go and buy some candy from them. They'll appreciate it.

Okay, I'm liking the new editor.  Seems easier to use.  It also has a word count and character count -- how cool! It's a little sluggish however.  But that could just be my computer, it's behaving a little sluggishly lately.

One of the changes in my life that I haven't made public on Xanga:  I am no longer educating my kids at home.  That's right.  No more homeschooling.  No more unschooling.  They are both in an incredible and wonderful public school, which they both love.  Stormy started in October and Lovebug started last week. Today makes it exactly one week for Lovebug. 

I have good and bad moments about the whole change.  Interesting feelings to work through.

On Tuesday, Stormy received her very 1st report card.  She received straight A's in her academics and straight E's in her arts (E=Excellent).  The report was actually five pages long.  While looking the report over, I kept looking for more.  I re-read every thing twice, three times, four times.  Where is the information about what she does every day?  What exactly was she exposed to to learn?  There was no intimacy in the report.  Just the facts, thankyouverymuch!  It doesn't help that her teacher doesn't send home graded work either.  Apparently, she throws all the papers in a box once graded.    I feel so cut off.  Seperate. 

These feelings are mine.  For Stormy, there is no turning back.  She loves being at school.  She loves the new friends.  She loves the acedemics.  She loves the immediate feedback.  She loves getting a grade. 

We'll see how she feels next year in middle school! 

All I know for sure:  The door will always be open here at home. 

Lovebug is really enjoying school too.  She loves all the activity.  She gets to paint almost everyday.  An art teacher visits almost everyday.  Today the music teacher comes and she's looking forward to that.  She's there for a short time everyday, so it's not too bad for her or me.  I don't feel so cut off from her.  I do get a sense of what she does everyday.  It's more like being with a glorified sitter.  She "plays" most of the time.  Stories, art, blocks, eating.  How could she not like it?

That's today's installment of Changes.  Many, many more to come.

Don't forget the black-eyed peas . . .

Have you ever "googled" your name?  I did on a new (to me) search engine  that searches Google, Yahoo & Ask! Jeeves.  Several things came up that I expected.  Something that I didn't expect:  It's a copy of a TV interview with comments from others.  Very weird!  Very weird indeed.